Grandmother Knows

In our last session together, Jane had indicated her openness to receiving the kind of messages that sometimes come to me, and sure enough, in the middle of the massage, an old, grandmotherly woman appeared and spoke to me quite clearly. She said emphatically that Jane’s boyfriend was not the man for her. She clearly disapproved of him strongly. I asked Grandmother to tell me more about this boyfriend, perhaps to describe him or tell me what she didn’t like about him. All she did was to point to his nose, and I thought there must be something distinctive about it. Moreover, she insisted that I give Jane the message that he was not the one for her, and she made it clear she would not leave me alone until I did.

Reluctantly, I agreed. Jane no doubt loved this man, and I felt uncomfortable saying anything about her choices in a boyfriend. It wasn’t any of my business. But I had promised I would deliver the message, so I approached the subject carefully. I described the woman I had seen and asked Jane if she had any relatives who looked like that. She did -- a grandmother who had passed away a few years ago.

I told Jane that I had received a message. I warned her that I could have heard it incorrectly, and she should take it with a grain of salt. In any case, she needed to make her own decisions about whatever course of action she would follow. Then I told her what Grandmother had said about her boyfriend not being the man for her.

“Oh, no, he’s really nice! She couldn’t have been talking about him!” Jane protested. “Maybe she meant my old boyfriend.”

I doubted that her grandmother would be so concerned about someone she was no longer with, but I didn’t mention that. “Is there anything distinctive about his nose?” I asked, hoping to identify the boyfriend more clearly. “Does he wear a nose ring or anything like that? Your grandmother kept pointing to his nose.”

“No,” she replied, “but my old boyfriend wears an earring. She must have meant my old boyfriend,” she added quickly.

I didn't say anything more about it, although I really thought Grandmother was talking about the new boyfriend. If Jane wasn't able to hear this, I just had to let it go. I had delivered the message, as promised and that was all I could do. Maybe I had misunderstood after all.

So here was Jane, calling to me in the gym, waving me over to her. “I’m so glad to see you!” she exclaimed. “I just have to tell you what happened about my boyfriend that you warned me about!”

It turned out that her boyfriend, unbeknownst to her at the time, used cocaine -- up his nose, of course! Once she found out, it took Jane a little while to get it together to leave. But the whole time, she kept remembering her grandmother's advice and saying to herself, “He’s not the man for me. He’s not the man for me.” Knowing that helped her to leave.

Thank you, Grandmother!